Posted on May 07, 1998 on WoT Alliance BBS
Category: WoT Humor

Rising To Sundara's Challenge

This was the original pro-prolouge in the EotW. Tor decided that they had a civic duty to protect the church based morality of the world and struck it out. They did however, reassure me that when society was ready for the truth they would include it in future reprintings.

As I looked upon the bare expanse of the void which would become the universe, I began to ponder what I would make of this broad expanse.

It must be complex, complex to the point that no one except myself can understand it. And it must be low maintanance, like my dream girl. Oh wait, I haven't created girls yet. I wonder, is it fair to unleash such evil upon my creations? Am I obligated to benevolent?

Soon, I thought that good and evil would be just semantics, so what the hell... and I created the females. At first I was content to be the only male, but then I realized my fatal mistake. I had not made them low maintanance, and their constant nagging for my undivided attention, and for me to create malls got to me so I created reinforcements. Man took his first breath.

For I while I enjoyed watching them float around in the void, flailing their arms screaming that they were falling, but I soon tired of the endless drop. "I wonder what sound they would make when they hit ground?" So I found out. In one move I created mortality and the earth. Damn I am getting good at this creation thing.

The dull thuds eased me to sleep as I dreamed up what to create next...

When I awoke I realized that it was still the same day. DOOE, I forgot time. But, if their is no time.. then none of this exists yet! I quickly invented time, and since there was not time yet I decided to create it at a point before I did my other creations. It was amazing how easy it was to manipulate something when it hadn't been created yet. Maybe I should go back and try that with women? Well, I had made them rather simple... money, shopping and time keeps them happy, so why bother.

I began to grow tired of this creator thing. I wanted to be mean, but still be viewed as a nice guy. This was perplexing. So I decided to create some alter egos. My prototype for the creator ended up to much like me so I made him a bit less perfect. Ok, but what to call him... Bob was out of the question. I thought maybe Taim, but that would lead to people thinking he was also demandred and we could not have that. Oh well, how about Prophet... but would poeple think he was in it just for the money? Creator. Of course, I had already named him earlier in the paragraph. The question had been moot all along.

I then decided to make the evil creator. I wanted to make it from scratch so using one of the females was out of the question. I took all the qualities that made women infuriating and gave them to this entity. It would be totally object oriented. Demanding, and possessive, yes. Wanting to control your immortal soul? Yes. Best locked away until you needed it? Yes. Likes to chit chat? Yes, but make it into all caps. IT WOULD BE MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN NORMAL FEMALE BABBLE. I figured that I would let this one name itself and forgo that part of the creation. This had the added bonus of letting it be wishy washy, another female trait.

Finally I realized that I would not be able to fininsh this creation. I am a busy guy, so I created Robert Jordan. He seemed rather industrious at first but then digressed into answering all questions with RAFO. Oh well, guess I will have to finish POD myself.


© 1998-1999 Dragon's Library & Ulrike Großmann